#SakuAtsu | 19.“I can’t stay away from you.” - for @mystrytrumpet Atsumu shows up to practice every day smiling from ear to ear like the world has handed him a gift. He banters with the team and laughs exuberantly, exhibiting every sign that he’s having the time of his life.

Kiyoomi isn’t the only one who notices this—even if he strongly doubts anyone has eyes for Miya Atsumu the way he does; perpetually, tirelessly, seeking the sunshine of his presence every chance he gets. But it’s not long before people start remarking on it.

“Atsumu-san seems really excited doesn’t he?” Hinata muses to Bokuto once Atsumu is out of earshot. “Think something happened?” And Bokuto, in a very nonchalant, likely thoughtless gesture, completely sweeps the rug from beneath Kiyoomi’s feet with a single sentence.

“Ah… the sweetness of young love.” As though Bokuto is a middle aged man tired of the woes of love and not twenty-five and head over heels in love with Akaashi Keiji. “Wait, what?” Hinata blurts Kiyoomi’s exact thoughts. “This is what a man in love looks like!”

Bokuto declares, beaming. Kiyoomi has to squint in fear of going blind. “Tsum-Tsum is in love!” Atsumu is, in fact, in love. And this fact only solidifies itself with the passage of days. Kiyoomi watches him closely, notes all the things Bokuto and Hinata noticed.

Yes, Atsumu has been dressing up on weekends. Yes, Atsumu always smells nice. Yes, Atsumu is constantly smiling at his phone. Kiyoomi feels his heart sink with every piece of the puzzle he collects. It’s suddenly so obvious. Painfully so.

While he had been whiling his time trying to find the perfect opportunity to finally confess to Atsumu, someone had beat him to it. All the hints he’d been dropping and all the small, thoughtful gifts he’d been giving Atsumu had been in vain.

Kiyoomi is overcome by a sense of anguish he’s never experienced before. The worst part is that every time he sees Atsumu’s infectious enthusiasm and dazzling smile, he almost convinces himself he’s okay with this. Atsumu is happy. Kiyoomi might be a selfish man,

but he can’t begrudge the object of his affections his happiness, because that’s all Kiyoomi wants for him. All he wants is to see Atsumu happy. So Kiyoomi starts keeping his distance. He stops lingering after practice, and he stops walking Atsumu home.

He swears he’s making progress when it all goes to shit. Because Atsumu starts looking miserable. As miserable as Kiyoomi feels. His smiles dim, and his enthusiasm wavers and frizzles out. It’s heart-wrenching to watch.

Kiyoomi had only resolved to step away because he thought Atsumu had found his happiness with someone else, but now that he looks like a kicked puppy, Kiyoomi’s can’t stand it. It comes to a head one fateful practice, after the team had finished showering and left the building,

and he overhears Atsumu sniffling. Kiyoomi can’t stop himself even if he’d tried. He’s by Atsumu’s side in a second, taking his face in his hands. He ignores his bewildered expression, peering at the stray tears clinging to his lashes. “Who did this to you?”

“O-omi-kun?” Atsumu stutters, trying to wrench himself away, to hide his face. “What are ya doin’ here? Why are you…” Kiyoomi doesn’t let him. He wipes at the tears with as much tenderness as he can muster. “I can’t stay away from you,” he admits,

hands finally dropping to curl by his sides. “I’ve tried. I swear I’ve tried…” “What are you…” Atsumu sniffs, wiping at his face. “What are ya on about Omi-omi, you’ve been ignoring me for weeks.” Kiyoomi’s heart clenches, shame overpowering him. He looks away,

trying to swallow against the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry, I thought—you looked so happy and everyone was talking about how you’ve got someone so I… I stepped back.” Atsumu’s eyes are wide and teary when Kiyoomi chances a look at him again. “You… you thought ?????”

“That you were seeing someone,” Kiyoomi mumbles, wondering why Atsumu is gawking at him. “You seemed so happy. Bokuto said… well he said you were in love.” Atsumu releases a startled, humourless laugh. “So—so you removed ???????? from the picture??”

“Yes,” Kiyoomi admits, rubbing the back of his head self-consciously. “I didn’t want to interfere when you were… and I’m…” He falters. He couldn’t say the words. What he feels for Atsumu is not mere attraction, it transcends that by a hundred-fold.

It’s the closest he’s ever felt to love. But he can’t say that. “Omi-kun, ya idiot,” Atsumu says, taking him off guard. He’s laughing again, wet and puffy-faced, but Kiyoomi can hardly look away. “I’m in love with ???.“ He jabs Kiyoomi’s chest with his finger,

honey eyes blazing. “???.” He stressed, knocking the air out of Kiyoomi’s lungs. “I was over the moon because I thought you’d finally—???????—reciprocated, when all of a sudden ya started givin’ me the cold shoulder!” Kiyoomi can’t breathe.

“Ya weren’t supposed to stay away from me,” Atsumu accuses, wiping furiously at his eyes. His voice cracks. “You were supposed to—to— I don’t know. Ask me out. Kiss me. Tell me you feel the same because I…” He runs out of steam, face screwing up.

He buries it in Kiyoomi’s chest, where his heart thunders unforgivingly. “Idiot,” he whispers again. Kiyoomi swallows, arms slowly winding around Atsumu’s trembling shoulders. “Hey,” he manages with difficulty. “Hey Atsumu… I’m so sorry. I didn’t—I’m so sorry.

I really like you. I do. I want to take you out.” Atsumu sniffs, unveiling his face only to wipe at it in frustration. “Really?” He demands. “Or do ya just feel sorry for me?” Kiyoomi shakes his head furiously, taking Atsumu in his arms again. “I swear on everything,” he gulps,

threading his hand in Atsumu’s hair. He tips Atsumu’s head back to meet his eyes. “I like you,” he reiterates. “I want to be with you more than anything.” Atsumu’s lips wobble. “Then ??.” Kiyoomi doesn’t care that Atsumu’s face is puffy and maybe even a little snotty.

He presses their mouths together without preamble, kissing the sweet surprise from Atsumu’s lips. “I ????. If you’d let me.” He kisses him again, tentative and tasting. It’s the softest, most unraveling sensation Kiyoomi has ever experienced.

He knows instantly that he’ll be addicted to it in no time. “Let me take you out,” he repeats, gentling his kisses still, stroking his hand through Atsumu’s head. “Please.” “Okay,” Atsumu agrees, and he’s finally smiling when Kiyoomi leans back.

Kiyoomi smiles helplessly in return, fluttering his thumb beneath Atsumu’s eye. “Please don’t cry, okay?” “Okay,” Atsumu responds, smile warmer. “Please don’t try to stay away from me.” “I’d fail anyway.” It’s the truth, and Kiyoomi cements it with another kiss.

Staying away from Atsumu is for stronger men, Kiyoomi thinks. He’s never been weaker for someone before.

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