kai 🪷

kai 🪷



self-concept in manifesting as an ND person: a ?(it is long)

The first thing I’m going to say is that self-concept ≠ self-love. It’s not having to revise every bad experience or doing shadow work or any of that. Self-concept is what you assume to be true about yourself, how you assume others see you, yourself in relation to things.

Many of us (me included) have a long history of trauma, mental health, negative experiences that began in my early years. These things all shaped the things I assumed about myself, people, money, relationships, the world in general. And most of my assumptions were negative.

Let me give an example: I spent most of my life believing (assuming) that everyone I loved would leave me and that money was difficult to come by and I had to work hard to get it. This was taught to me through adults in my life and through experiences.

I persisted in those assumptions for years, so that’s what I experienced for years. I could never believe anyone loved me despite all the proof staring me in the face that I was loved and wanted. I believed those things to be true so they always eventually reflected back to me.

After years of believing things to be a certain way, we also learn to expect things to continue to be this way (law of expectancy). This is true whether we have positive or negative assumptions. Some of us have great assumptions about money and career, bad assumptions about love.

Taking into account experiencing trauma or mental health issues, the idea of changing our concept of self can be incredibly daunting and scary as fuck. I know that, I’ve been there too. Some days I still am (though the days are much fewer).

We stay in negative thought patterns because those are where we’ve lived for so long, and even though we’re not happy there it is comfortable to our brains bc we are used to it. But those assumptions can be changed, we are in fact masters at self concept already.

SELF CONCEPT AND THE BRAIN: The brain rewires through repetition. We repeat a thought over and over (4D), it reflects into our physical reality (3D). What you are thinking about all the time becomes an assumption and becomes true. It is really that simple.

Other people are mirrors, they reflect your dominant beliefs/assumptions about yourself back to you. If you continuously think that you are unloved, unwanted, not chosen, not committed to etc. they have no choice but to reflect that back to you.

If you are always thinking about being lovable, loved, chosen, wanted, the same is true. Affirmations are a great tool to self soothe anxiety and to change your assumptions about yourself. We think all day everyday, we can shift those assumptions.

HOW TO DO IT: The most effective way I know of to change my assumptions is to figure out what the current ones are and if they’re negative, teach myself to think the opposite.

Examples: they never choose me ➡️ everyone always puts me first money is hard for to get ➡️ money is easy for me to get Figuring out what your negative assumptions are and choosing new thoughts that are the direct opposite of them is one way to change them.

Do I have to flip every single negative thought? This answer depends on you and your brain. Some people will have a thought pop up and flipping each one causes more. Others can flip and keep going. Fear, doubt, old thoughts are your ego trying to protect you.

A negative or opposing thought may pop up and you can gently remind yourself that this is your new story and you don’t identify with old thoughts anymore, then remind yourself of the new one. This can be uncomfortable at first. As you repeat it, it will become more natural.

IS SELF CONCEPT NEEDED? This is the controversial question. It’s not necessary to manifest, repetition + thinking as if will get you want you want. BUT, if I continue to have negative assumptions about the things I’m manifesting I find it to be harder.

So for me, yes, self concept was necessary. I had terrible assumptions in every area of my life. Doing the work to build new assumptions makes everything feel much safer and easier for me. You can manifest more than one thing at a time and it doesn’t delay anything so why not.

Changing the way I view myself, others and the world around me has greatly helped with my anxiety and BPD. I am night and day different in the way I see the world. But that’s me, you may be different. Finding what works for you and exploring is the key to all of this.

I hope this was helpful, I hope I covered this in an accessible way. I’m going to drop some amazing mental health related tweets/threads below bc I think it’s really important we manifest in the way that works with our own special wrinkly big brains. ?

EFT tapping!!!

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