Low quality men divorce authority from responsibility (she should do as I say, without much emphasis on the standard he must hold himself to for her) Low quality women divorce responsibility from authority (he should do this list of things for me, but I wont do whatever he says)

Ultimately you are serving each other in different ways. A leader serves by providing a number of services to a standard. The follower helps the leader do this by following their decisions and helping them execute them, and seeking to please them. Ego too often gets in the way.

I don't know any self-respecting man who is going to take on the burden of a woman, both financially and emotionally for a lifetime, only for her to turn around and reject your authority on a whim. Their duty is to follow, whether they agree or not. *THAT* is their role.

Now go to a hundred different trad woman accounts and ask them "is it a woman's duty to follow her man, whether she agrees with his decision or not?" Most will disagree (exposing themselves as not trad) some will fake agree, very few will agree and truly mean it.

If it's always a man's responsibility to lead and provide, then it is surely always a woman's responsibility to follow and obey, is it not? Even if she disagrees? She has a responsibility to him he doesn't have to her, in so much as he has one to her she doesn't have to him, no?

You see - each sex has "their burden" A woman's burden is having to follow things her man decides she doesn't like or agree with Tough shit. That's the cost of protection and provision - your privilege - deferring to his leadership. You get "a say" but you don't get to decide.

Because if it's not a woman's responsibility to follow, then how can it be a man's responsibility to lead? You can't lead people who won't follow you. So then what so often goes unsaid, but mirrors the manly obligation is the womanly one - having to accept things you don't like

A man's obligations are a women's privileges. She feels safe because he projects dominance but takes care of problems. She doesn't worry about money, because he works his butt off whilst she lives a relative life of leisure (part-time or not at all) This is man's burden.

Is either burden really fair? No - but they cancel each other out. Why should I spend my limited mortality, time and energy on providing a comfortable existence for you, if you're not going to accept what the fuck I say as law? If I'm not the king, then I'm a fucking slave.

Don't get me wrong. I think there is room for discussion to share concerns. Men aren't perfect and can make poor decisions. But it is more common for women to refuse to comply because they think they know better when they don't, than for women to follow foolish men out of honour.

Ultimately, a man's obligations are a woman's privileges, and a woman's obligations are a man's privilege. His privilege is he is the law. Her privilege is the life he gives her. It's not equal, but it is on the whole fair - even though it may not always feel that way.

One thing I will add, is if you can't see yourself following a man, you shouldn't be with him. You shouldn't marry a man you can't see yourself obeying and following to the ends of the earth. If you don't see his word as a law you can gently challenge, he's not the man for you.

When you marry a man, you are effectively saying "I trust this man is benevolent enough to care for me, and competent enough to govern me, and therefore I will do as he says because it is in my best interest to, and because I wish to honour him" Don't feel that? Stay single then

If you have problems following a man, you shouldn't marry that man in the first place - because marriage is a seal of approval - that he knows what he's doing and he's safe to follow - he is effectively your appointed leader. That's why disrespecting his leadership is such a sin

Refusing to follow a man who fulfils his obligations to you, is failing to fulfil your obligations to him You either work like a man, or accept the authority of one. You're out in the cutthroat economy, or you're enjoying a wholesome life at home Both have a price Your choice.

"My man is a poor leader" Then you either A: married an idiot man and messed up your vetting process - one of the greatest mistakes of your life. Or B: he is going through a tough time and could do with some assistance. Don't rebel the moment he fumbles the ball. Be supportive.

If a woman is a helpmate and is there to support her man, then it stands to reason she has to step up when he takes a hit, no? Meaning, don't immediately lose your shit and freak out and up the intensity of your antagonism. Help your leader help you by being good to him.

This is also why respect is so fundamental and so non-negotiable for men. It's not about "fragile male ego" - it's about you fulfilling your obligations to him. When you follow a man, you show that you respect him. When you refuse to, you spit on all that he does for you.

Conversely, a man doesn't respect a woman by "taking her seriously" or "doing as she says" - that's how a woman respects a man. A man respects a woman with his entire fucking essence by providing the leisure, comfort and safety she enjoys - even if he does humorously mock her.

If you're not willing to do as a man says, don't expect him to provide a life for you. Doesn't get any simpler than that. You are obligated to follow your man just as he is obligated to build and preserve your comforts. Shouldn't be a controversial thing to say, but sadly is.

Just to keep nailing the point home like an incessant, obsessive migraine - no man worth a shit is going to give you the products of his labour, his sweat, and the products of his intellect - his governance and guidance - if you aren't going to do as he says.

"Relationships are about compromise" So is the man no longer making you feel safe, or providing you with comforts things you find negotiable? If the answer is no, then neither is doing as he says. You compromise on minor things - like decor - not major things like this.

If you wouldn't want your man to stop providing, guiding and caring for you - then you shouldn't stop following him. This is how you both honour and look after one another. You're both doing the same thing - just in vastly different ways with dissimilar distributions of burden.